2015, so far….

Buckle up.

It started in September. I just wanted to simply establish myself as a patient at a primary care doctor. Because I was told I can’t keep using my obgyn as my primary everywhere I went. I’ve never been one to go to the doctor for much other than a yearly and when I was feverish and sick as hell. The new doctor I met in September was super nice. We just chatted about my general health and she ordered blood work just to get an idea of where I was at. Standard procedure. I got a phone call that my white blood cell count was through the roof. And they said I had to be sick. I wasn’t. I reported back in a month to get more blood work to make sure it was just a fluke. Again, my white blood cell count was high. Not as high as before, but still too high to be normal. Again, I was told come back in 4-6 weeks for a re-check. Ugh, fine. So I did what I was told. Again, they were high. They said I probably need to go to an oncologist who specializes in blood disorders and cancers, but let’s just check ONE LAST TIME before we do that. At this point it was comical to me. Check check check check. $20 $20 $20 $20. I started to lose the desire to see a doctor at all. I just thought these people are nuts, I am fine. I have terrible allergies, that has to be why my blood work is showing abnormalities. LEAVE ME ALONE. I didn’t care about going anymore.

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Some people close to me said I was being stubborn and silly and I needed to see this through, so I did. So. It’s a few weeks before my appointment at a local cancer institute. I was getting big pamphlets in the mail from the cancer institute about cancer, how they will do everything to make the transition comfortable, etc. I was pissed. I mean, no one has ever even remotely mentioned anything that serious, as a matter of fact I was told this wasn’t a big deal, but somehow the cancer institute felt the need to scare the shit out of me, Mike and my close family. Not cool, cancer institute. Also, the week before my appointment, I noticed some blood in my bra. Again, me being the way I am, I brushed it off and chocked it up to dry skin. A few days later, it happened again. I half assedly mentioned it to the oncologist at my appointment as she was wrapping up with a plan to see what’s wrong with my blood. She flipped out. Made an immediate appointment 2 days later for me to see a breast specialist.

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To truly end your suffering of reading the most boring post of your life, I’ll try to give it to you in a nutshell. 500 appointments, 2 ultrasounds, 2 mammograms, 40 vials of blood, and 4 different women squeezing their damn hardest on my boob later, I still know absolutely not a lot. The only thing I am for certain of is that I am severely anemic, severely vitamin b12 deficient, my body is in a constant state of inflammation (with no idea why) and I’m wearing a really weird, clear plastic film over my right boob until a week from now when I have a terrifying procedure known as a ductogram, so they can find the growth responsible for my boob problems. Once located, they will surgically remove it and it will be biopsied. *Long, deep breath.*

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Needless to say, I haven’t been giving 2 craps about my diet. I haven’t been giving a crap about much of anything. I only see a few friends as of late. I truly just want to sleep most of the time. And I’ve been the worst person to be around because I’m a grumpy gus about everything that is going on. I haven’t told anyone about what is going on really. Only those who need to know. And I know I don’t have a ton of readers but I want to be as honest with myself and you as possible. I’m sick of being bogged down and letting it all get to me. So I’m trying to be proactive in getting back to normal.

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I’m going to talk to a therapist who my doctor recommends to people in these types of situations. Which I believe is witch craft. But she is very persistent so I’ll try it. I’m also going to be proactive in eating right. I eat pretty great most of the time, but I put weight loss on hold. And it can’t be on hold anymore. I have to put it first. I worry more about letting my friends down for not being around and worry about missing work for appointments more than I actually worry about my health and I know it’s not healthy.

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So, I guess I’m just writing this all out as a first step to coming clean. Getting it all out there. And starting over with what I was setting out to do in the first place. I’ll update you all on the rest of the appointments and procedures. I’m not worried that it is anything serious. I’m more worried about the annoyances and pain from all of the procedures than the actual outcome. I’m a huge sissy baby. I said it. Did all of the photos of food I’ve been eating lately help you through this terribly boring post? I sure hope so!

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Shout out to this guy for being my rock through everything.

Time to get back to it! A few new recipes coming your way his week!

Xo

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Copycat Alice Springs Chicken

When I was in high school, I lost 50 pounds by eating super strict low carb and playing sports. And thanks to my loving family who took me to Outback Steakhouse once a week to feel indulgent while on this crappy ass diet. Alice Springs Chicken became one of my major tools for success. It will forever have a special place in my fat loving heart.

If I could eat at Outback every night, life would be grand. But there are many pitfalls to that plan. One includes the temptation of their mystery brown bread, a second being their delicious, crispy croutons and lastly, well, that would cost a fortune.

I figured there was no way re-creating this dish would be hard. And boy was I right!! This tasted JUST as good. And I didn’t have any yummy bread sitting on the table singing me love songs, begging me to just listen to my heart and eat it.

While I definitely do not do super strict low carb, I definitely don’t eat any past 5pm. And this, my friends, was the perfect dinner for us.

Wanna Be Alice Springs Chicken

You will need:
-4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
-8 slices of bacon of your choice (you can use turkey, but being as I eat lower carb, I allow fat in my “diet”)
-2 cups of raw button mushrooms
-4 large slices of medium cheddar cheese (use fresh, organic cheese. Trust me.)
-low sugar honey mustard either homemade or store bought
-salt and pepper

Serves 4 (or three, if you have a really hungry boyfriend.)

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This was the honey mustard in our local grocery store that had the least amount of sugar! And it was damn tasty.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Take a glass baking dish and spray lightly with cooking spray.

Lay completely thawed chicken breasts down in the baking dish.

Massage some salt and pepper into the chicken.

I then poured the two cups of raw mushrooms all over the top of the chicken and around the pan. You can be more precise and “fancy” if that’s how you roll.

Splash some honey mustard onto the chicken breasts. As much as you prefer. But remember, you will be dipping the chicken in the mustard as well when you’re eating it so you don’t need a lot!

Top each breast with two slices of bacon. Then add a large slice of cheddar cheese on top to finish off the chicken!

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At this point in the game, I imagined how beautiful this was going to be when it was finished. Because cheesy melty anything is a work of art to me. Am I crazy?

Bake in the oven for about 30-40 minutes, depending on how thick of a cut your chicken is. Ours took about 30-32 minutes!

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Plate em and eat em. Simple as that! Dip it in honey mustard or pour more on top and it will truly remind you of being at Outback!

Serve with your favorite roasted green veggie for a delicious, balanced and low carb meal! Guys. Seriously trust me on this one. Omg I’m so full and I’m feeling good about it. DELICIOUS.

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And that concludes day one of Healthy Eating until the Holidays! Which is basically my own version of primal/paleo with cheese. Because people who don’t eat cheese are crazy. Seriously. Come back next week and see if I’ve turned into a cave woman. I’m currently monitoring my brow line. So far no change.

Xo

Pour some sugar on me.

We had our last shebang tonight. Before a complete overhaul. While I have been eating relatively healthy, after watching Fed Up last night, there’s just no better time than right now.

I had a menu planned for the week and when mike texted me to ask what was for dinner tonight, I said either grilled chicken and asparagus or the little mexican restaurant by our house. We both have migraines and feel so yucky so mexican it was. The movie (Fed Up) moved both of us. So, we decided, let’s have our crappy yucky yummy food and start fresh tomorrow.

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Us. Right now.

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So, this movie. Fed Up. Have you all heard about it? It’s crazy. I mean, yes, I know a diet high in sugar causes obesity and metabolic syndromes such as type 2 diabetes. But this movie makes you go, oh my god, no wonder we’re in this boat. Then it reveals a lot about the government and how it’s all a vicious cycle to get us fat, get us hooked, then require health care, then require dieting help and everyone is rich. And we’re just sick and fat. And not like sick. Like, pass out, 5 years to live type of sick.

The beginning of the movie, I was already ready to cry. These extremely respected scholars explaining how you being fat is not because you’re a p.o.s. human being or a willpower-less bum, it just hit home for me. I blame myself for EVERYTHING always. And it certainly takes a toll on your mental health. It was like someone that mattered in the doctor world sat me down and said, look, this is going to be so hard. Losing weight is going to suck and there’s 1 million reasons why you could fail at every turn. But this is not all your fault. You will just have to be a lot stronger than other people.

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They went on to explain how, even from birth you can begin to get “obese” and launch metabolic issues. For instance, when I was born, I was Lactose intolerant. Therefore, my mom, not knowing any better, gives me lactose free formula. Because that is what she was told to do. But guess what? That formula was loaded with sugar! WTF FORMULA COMPANIES?! How do you live with yourselves?! Knowing you’re putting sugary milk powder on the market as ideal for babies. Crazy. And that’s just a DABBLE into all of the insane information in this movie.

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I think my favorite thing that this movie totally accomplished for me, was making sugar look like a straight up sketchy ass drug. It went into scientific detail to how sugar is basically cocaine to people the way it reacts in their brains. But not only did it prove sugar is an addiction, it also made one of the most amazing conclusions that I had never thought of before. In the 90’s, early 2000’s, it slowly but surely became repulsive to smoke. The TV and Internet were loaded with anti-smoking campaigns. And cities banned it from indoor settings. Not only that, but in most places, you have to be yards away from a building to smoke. I work in a downtown building and its RARE to see a person smoking. Because they made it so hard to do so. And also, because it’s almost become “trashy”. So, why can’t they do that with sugar? Why can’t they expose it like they exposed smoking hazards, and why can’t sodas come with a warning label? Why can’t I know the daily percentage of sugar on nutrition labels? So. Many. Good. Questions.

So, try it with us. No sugar. No head fog. No sugar turning to fat storage in our bodies. I’m very excited to go forward with the new information I’ve learned from this amazing documentary. I hope the whole world sees it. And I hope we all can win the fight. Our future looks bleak without a change. I know mine certainly does.

If you made it through my insane ramblings, you deserve the most delicious sugar free cookie ever!!!

Be back tomorrow with what we’re eating this week and a recipe!

Xo

Tuesday Talk Time

I made a promise to myself to keep updating the blog. Every few days. Absolutely no less than that.

I glanced back through my older posts today. I’m a broken record. Hey guys, bye guys, lost weight, gained weight, I’m starting over, I’m done. The fact that any of you all read this and check in with me is miraculous in and of itself. So, for you all and for me, there will not be another start over. I spend 90% of my day thinking about losing weight and making healthy choices. That is no exaggeration. Imagine what all I could think of if I met my goal and that wasn’t a “thing” anymore. Okay don’t imagine, because me alone with my thoughts is terrifying. Heh

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What a smart asshole that guy was. After that speech in the movie theatre I wanted to stand up and clap and yell WOOOOOOOO!!! I’m a nerd. But it was Leo playing him. In my defense. So convincing.

But this is so true for me. Tough love. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, I’d rather eat a donut cheeseburger with a side of pizza than grilled fish. Yes, I’d rather lay on my couch, eating a box of Reesee’s Pieces, cry laughing at all of the Mindy Project episodes than workout. Yes, I secretly wish all skinny girls who eat whatever they want get Regina George tricked into eating high carb candy bars. (I’m satan.) Life, sometimes, isn’t fair. But what is fair is I have a wonderful family, boyfriend, animos, job and shelter. And, honestly my health. I’m not missing limbs. My brain functions at a normal rate(debatable) and I have clean water. And yet I sit here and whine about my weight.

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This one is probably the motivational quote of the year for me. As I sit here two years after deciding to “really get serious and do something about my weight.” I could’ve been skinny by now! Think about that. If you genuinely lost weight when you said you were going to, how long would you have been fit and healthy? So sad. So true. But now’s the time!

I will never NOT love food. Healthy food, sweet food, grilled food, organic food, fresh food, fried food. I do NOT discriminate. And I probably never ever will.

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*Dana posted this awhile back. I’ve never felt something as hard as I do that statement. I’m not joking. Stop laughing.

I can’t help that I feel happiness sitting at a restaurant with a plate of food in my face. That will never change. I will always get gooey eyes over a piece of cake, tacos, a juicy burger and even roasted zucchini.

This is all a head game. I know I am 110% capable of doing what I need to do. It’s not letting my mind slip. It’s knowing I can get through this 5 minute craving for ice cream pizza.*

*it’s not real. I’m sorry.

So, tonight I take a stand. To get it together. To stop embarassing myself by being a broken record. To have a happy, healthy life.

P.S. Bob Harper’s Cardio Conditioning kicks. Serious. Ass. I’ve done insanity and p90boring and I FEEEEEEEEL bob Harper. I feel you Bob. Every single day after a workout. My butt, my thighs, my arms, my abs. So stoked to have this available to do right inside the house. Plus, he’s adorable. Check it out! You won’t be sorry. Unless you don’t crave that “I worked out really hard” sore feeling. Then it’s not for you.

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Xo

I’ve been eating… And losing… And eating.

I feel AMAZING!

I’ve lost 6 pounds since Sunday and I haven’t felt deprived at all! I even ate A LOT of tortilla chips and queso blanco two nights ago. It’s all about balance, right?!

I’ve been keeping my carbs under 70 grams a day and REALLY watching my sugar and my god, what a difference it has made.

I think my protein smoothie every morning has something to do with it too!

You know when you get in that mindset? And nothing will stop you? That’s how I feel right now! Won’t let it fade!

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Here’s what I’ve been eating for dinner and lunches in no particular order! I’ll be back with the recipe for the delicious frittata!

I did Zumba at home and walked Monday night. Tuesday nothing. And last night I made Mike do Taebo! It was fun/funny! 🙂

SPOILER ALERT for tomorrow’s weigh in: I’m already down 6 pounds this week!!! So yeahhhhh. I’m very excited for this weigh in!

You can do it you guys! Thanks for hanging in there with me! Love you all!

Oh, and here’s a picture of Bo for Cassy and because I know you all love him! 🙂

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Xo

Low carb chicken mushroom ranch quesadillas

Very quick and very amateur post!

I whipped up a quick dinner tonight because Mike is playing basketball!

This may be one of my favorite dinners. Which is crazy because it is so easy and fast! I love it.

You know how much I love Mission Carb Balance tortillas. It’s my one processed food item I can’t live without currently. So use those. Or any tortilla of your choice!

You will need:
2 Carb Balance tortillas
1 thawed chicken breast
1.5 tablespoons of ranch dressing
1/2 cup of Mexican shredded cheese
Handful of mushrooms
Handful of chopped onion (I used frozen)
Pico de gallo, sour cream and hot sauce for topping!

In a skillet, add a dash of olive oil then add the mushrooms and onions. Cook down until soft.

Slice chicken breast into chunks. Spray another skillet with cooking spray. On medium-high heat, cook chicken for about 8 minutes, stirring around halfway through. In the last minute or two, add your ranch to the chicken and coat it really nice!

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Transfer the mushrooms and onions to a plate. Lay one tortilla down in the skillet. Top with cheese, chicken, mushrooms and onions. Then add the 2nd tortilla on top. Mmhmm yummy Mexican pizza.

After a few minutes, flip and cook on the other side for a few more minutes, until quesadilla is yummy and browned and the cheese has melted!

Top with sour cream, pico and hot sauce!

Enjoy this super filling, super “naughty” tasting healthy dish!

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I’m going to go do insanity because I’m insane!

Xo

Thai Chili Baked Salmon

Oh, salmon. We have a love/hate relationship. I love how good it is for me. I love it when I cook it right. But if I don’t cook it and treat it just right, it tastes funky and I don’t call it back for a few months.

The last time I made salmon, it was bad. It was me, not you salmon. And I mean that.

But this time. This time was perfect and harmonious. This time was beautiful and Asian inspired. This time it was good enough to serve to Mike for his 30th birthday.

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Thai chili baked salmon

-two salmon filets, thawed
-2 tablespoons soy sauce
-2 tablespoons sesame oil
-one teaspoon garlic paste
-one teaspoon brown sugar
-1 heaping tablespoon Asian kitchen sweet thai chili sauce (or something comparable)
-sriracha mayo (pre-made or homemade, one part sriracha/one part mayo mixed) for topping

Pre-heat oven to 450 degrees.

Mix everything but the mayo and the salmon together in a bowl. Whisk until completely mixed.

Dip salmon filets in the sauce. Let them sit for a few minutes.

Take a baking sheet, spray lightly with cooking spray. Lay salmon filets down on the sheet.

Save the extra sauce to pour over salmon when it is almost finished cooking!

Bake for 12-15 minutes!

At about 10 minutes in, top with extra sauce and put back in the oven!

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Serve over rice (which is what I did for Mike. I had mine without!) Plate immediately and top with however much sriracha mayo your hungry heart desires!

Enjoy your loving relationship with salmon. It will make your taste buds sing. Promise.

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Xo