Squarespace

To all of you who followed along with me as I got my start in the blogging world, I’ve just now realized that none of you can tell that I am, in fact, still blogging. I switched my platform over to Squarespace about a year ago. I thought it was strange that I never saw your comments any more, and that my readership tanked. Well, I clearly knew nothing and didn’t realize the impact switching from the WordPress community would have. I miss you all and the community very deeply. I do, however, love the ease and look of Squarespace and have been told by several developer/code friends to stay there.

I’m still at burgersinmycakehole.com chugging along withย my weight loss goals. (I’m getting married in a year!!!) I also just bought a house! Crazy stuff and none of my WordPress friends have even noticed my posts because I’M A DERP. This is my apology. It sucks, I know. I miss you all. I’m going to go through my followers and be sure to subscribe to each of you so I don’t miss anything!

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2015, so far….

Buckle up.

It started in September. I just wanted to simply establish myself as a patient at a primary care doctor. Because I was told I can’t keep using my obgyn as my primary everywhere I went. I’ve never been one to go to the doctor for much other than a yearly and when I was feverish and sick as hell. The new doctor I met in September was super nice. We just chatted about my general health and she ordered blood work just to get an idea of where I was at. Standard procedure. I got a phone call that my white blood cell count was through the roof. And they said I had to be sick. I wasn’t. I reported back in a month to get more blood work to make sure it was just a fluke. Again, my white blood cell count was high. Not as high as before, but still too high to be normal. Again, I was told come back in 4-6 weeks for a re-check. Ugh, fine. So I did what I was told. Again, they were high. They said I probably need to go to an oncologist who specializes in blood disorders and cancers, but let’s just check ONE LAST TIME before we do that. At this point it was comical to me. Check check check check. $20 $20 $20 $20. I started to lose the desire to see a doctor at all. I just thought these people are nuts, I am fine. I have terrible allergies, that has to be why my blood work is showing abnormalities. LEAVE ME ALONE. I didn’t care about going anymore.

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Some people close to me said I was being stubborn and silly and I needed to see this through, so I did. So. It’s a few weeks before my appointment at a local cancer institute. I was getting big pamphlets in the mail from the cancer institute about cancer, how they will do everything to make the transition comfortable, etc. I was pissed. I mean, no one has ever even remotely mentioned anything that serious, as a matter of fact I was told this wasn’t a big deal, but somehow the cancer institute felt the need to scare the shit out of me, Mike and my close family. Not cool, cancer institute. Also, the week before my appointment, I noticed some blood in my bra. Again, me being the way I am, I brushed it off and chocked it up to dry skin. A few days later, it happened again. I half assedly mentioned it to the oncologist at my appointment as she was wrapping up with a plan to see what’s wrong with my blood. She flipped out. Made an immediate appointment 2 days later for me to see a breast specialist.

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To truly end your suffering of reading the most boring post of your life, I’ll try to give it to you in a nutshell. 500 appointments, 2 ultrasounds, 2 mammograms, 40 vials of blood, and 4 different women squeezing their damn hardest on my boob later, I still know absolutely not a lot. The only thing I am for certain of is that I am severely anemic, severely vitamin b12 deficient, my body is in a constant state of inflammation (with no idea why) and I’m wearing a really weird, clear plastic film over my right boob until a week from now when I have a terrifying procedure known as a ductogram, so they can find the growth responsible for my boob problems. Once located, they will surgically remove it and it will be biopsied. *Long, deep breath.*

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Needless to say, I haven’t been giving 2 craps about my diet. I haven’t been giving a crap about much of anything. I only see a few friends as of late. I truly just want to sleep most of the time. And I’ve been the worst person to be around because I’m a grumpy gus about everything that is going on. I haven’t told anyone about what is going on really. Only those who need to know. And I know I don’t have a ton of readers but I want to be as honest with myself and you as possible. I’m sick of being bogged down and letting it all get to me. So I’m trying to be proactive in getting back to normal.

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I’m going to talk to a therapist who my doctor recommends to people in these types of situations. Which I believe is witch craft. But she is very persistent so I’ll try it. I’m also going to be proactive in eating right. I eat pretty great most of the time, but I put weight loss on hold. And it can’t be on hold anymore. I have to put it first. I worry more about letting my friends down for not being around and worry about missing work for appointments more than I actually worry about my health and I know it’s not healthy.

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So, I guess I’m just writing this all out as a first step to coming clean. Getting it all out there. And starting over with what I was setting out to do in the first place. I’ll update you all on the rest of the appointments and procedures. I’m not worried that it is anything serious. I’m more worried about the annoyances and pain from all of the procedures than the actual outcome. I’m a huge sissy baby. I said it. Did all of the photos of food I’ve been eating lately help you through this terribly boring post? I sure hope so!

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Shout out to this guy for being my rock through everything.

Time to get back to it! A few new recipes coming your way his week!

Xo

Pour some sugar on me.

We had our last shebang tonight. Before a complete overhaul. While I have been eating relatively healthy, after watching Fed Up last night, there’s just no better time than right now.

I had a menu planned for the week and when mike texted me to ask what was for dinner tonight, I said either grilled chicken and asparagus or the little mexican restaurant by our house. We both have migraines and feel so yucky so mexican it was. The movie (Fed Up) moved both of us. So, we decided, let’s have our crappy yucky yummy food and start fresh tomorrow.

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Us. Right now.

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So, this movie. Fed Up. Have you all heard about it? It’s crazy. I mean, yes, I know a diet high in sugar causes obesity and metabolic syndromes such as type 2 diabetes. But this movie makes you go, oh my god, no wonder we’re in this boat. Then it reveals a lot about the government and how it’s all a vicious cycle to get us fat, get us hooked, then require health care, then require dieting help and everyone is rich. And we’re just sick and fat. And not like sick. Like, pass out, 5 years to live type of sick.

The beginning of the movie, I was already ready to cry. These extremely respected scholars explaining how you being fat is not because you’re a p.o.s. human being or a willpower-less bum, it just hit home for me. I blame myself for EVERYTHING always. And it certainly takes a toll on your mental health. It was like someone that mattered in the doctor world sat me down and said, look, this is going to be so hard. Losing weight is going to suck and there’s 1 million reasons why you could fail at every turn. But this is not all your fault. You will just have to be a lot stronger than other people.

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They went on to explain how, even from birth you can begin to get “obese” and launch metabolic issues. For instance, when I was born, I was Lactose intolerant. Therefore, my mom, not knowing any better, gives me lactose free formula. Because that is what she was told to do. But guess what? That formula was loaded with sugar! WTF FORMULA COMPANIES?! How do you live with yourselves?! Knowing you’re putting sugary milk powder on the market as ideal for babies. Crazy. And that’s just a DABBLE into all of the insane information in this movie.

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I think my favorite thing that this movie totally accomplished for me, was making sugar look like a straight up sketchy ass drug. It went into scientific detail to how sugar is basically cocaine to people the way it reacts in their brains. But not only did it prove sugar is an addiction, it also made one of the most amazing conclusions that I had never thought of before. In the 90’s, early 2000’s, it slowly but surely became repulsive to smoke. The TV and Internet were loaded with anti-smoking campaigns. And cities banned it from indoor settings. Not only that, but in most places, you have to be yards away from a building to smoke. I work in a downtown building and its RARE to see a person smoking. Because they made it so hard to do so. And also, because it’s almost become “trashy”. So, why can’t they do that with sugar? Why can’t they expose it like they exposed smoking hazards, and why can’t sodas come with a warning label? Why can’t I know the daily percentage of sugar on nutrition labels? So. Many. Good. Questions.

So, try it with us. No sugar. No head fog. No sugar turning to fat storage in our bodies. I’m very excited to go forward with the new information I’ve learned from this amazing documentary. I hope the whole world sees it. And I hope we all can win the fight. Our future looks bleak without a change. I know mine certainly does.

If you made it through my insane ramblings, you deserve the most delicious sugar free cookie ever!!!

Be back tomorrow with what we’re eating this week and a recipe!

Xo

Tuesday Talk Time

I made a promise to myself to keep updating the blog. Every few days. Absolutely no less than that.

I glanced back through my older posts today. I’m a broken record. Hey guys, bye guys, lost weight, gained weight, I’m starting over, I’m done. The fact that any of you all read this and check in with me is miraculous in and of itself. So, for you all and for me, there will not be another start over. I spend 90% of my day thinking about losing weight and making healthy choices. That is no exaggeration. Imagine what all I could think of if I met my goal and that wasn’t a “thing” anymore. Okay don’t imagine, because me alone with my thoughts is terrifying. Heh

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What a smart asshole that guy was. After that speech in the movie theatre I wanted to stand up and clap and yell WOOOOOOOO!!! I’m a nerd. But it was Leo playing him. In my defense. So convincing.

But this is so true for me. Tough love. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, I’d rather eat a donut cheeseburger with a side of pizza than grilled fish. Yes, I’d rather lay on my couch, eating a box of Reesee’s Pieces, cry laughing at all of the Mindy Project episodes than workout. Yes, I secretly wish all skinny girls who eat whatever they want get Regina George tricked into eating high carb candy bars. (I’m satan.) Life, sometimes, isn’t fair. But what is fair is I have a wonderful family, boyfriend, animos, job and shelter. And, honestly my health. I’m not missing limbs. My brain functions at a normal rate(debatable) and I have clean water. And yet I sit here and whine about my weight.

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This one is probably the motivational quote of the year for me. As I sit here two years after deciding to “really get serious and do something about my weight.” I could’ve been skinny by now! Think about that. If you genuinely lost weight when you said you were going to, how long would you have been fit and healthy? So sad. So true. But now’s the time!

I will never NOT love food. Healthy food, sweet food, grilled food, organic food, fresh food, fried food. I do NOT discriminate. And I probably never ever will.

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*Dana posted this awhile back. I’ve never felt something as hard as I do that statement. I’m not joking. Stop laughing.

I can’t help that I feel happiness sitting at a restaurant with a plate of food in my face. That will never change. I will always get gooey eyes over a piece of cake, tacos, a juicy burger and even roasted zucchini.

This is all a head game. I know I am 110% capable of doing what I need to do. It’s not letting my mind slip. It’s knowing I can get through this 5 minute craving for ice cream pizza.*

*it’s not real. I’m sorry.

So, tonight I take a stand. To get it together. To stop embarassing myself by being a broken record. To have a happy, healthy life.

P.S. Bob Harper’s Cardio Conditioning kicks. Serious. Ass. I’ve done insanity and p90boring and I FEEEEEEEEL bob Harper. I feel you Bob. Every single day after a workout. My butt, my thighs, my arms, my abs. So stoked to have this available to do right inside the house. Plus, he’s adorable. Check it out! You won’t be sorry. Unless you don’t crave that “I worked out really hard” sore feeling. Then it’s not for you.

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Xo

Long weekend and healthy broccoli salad!

Where to begin.

We bought groceries for the entire week last week and didn’t eat any of them. I’m terrible. I just never felt like cooking and there was something going on every night. No excuse. And no, I didn’t eat healthy. Well, my lunches were all healthy. But after 5pm, it was all down hill. I still had vacation brain.

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That salad is probably the healthiest thing I’ve had for dinner all week. And that salad has chicken tenders and a croissant with it. So yeah. And do you SEE the plethora of snacks we have at work? Thank goodness I’m not a snacker. Or I’d be ruined. But the temptation is there.

My favorite meal this week was Brad and Jess’s chicken tacos. Brad grilled the chicken and the corn tortillas and Jess made the most DELICIOUS pineapple salsa and lime cilantro rice. Oh my goodness. So good. And we got to night swim!

I made broccoli salad to eat on last week. It was delicious. I know some people aren’t a fan of raw broccoli. I LOVE it. And I promise you, this recipe is delicious! Great way to get your raw veggies in for the day!

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You’ll need:
-One container of broccoli from your market’s produce area.
-1 cup reduced fat mayo (we used trader joe’s, olive oil mayo is great too!)
-1tablespoon apple cider vinegar
-3 packets of truvia (stevia)
-1 half of a cup of dried cranberries
-1 half of a cup of sunflower seeds

Mix the mayo, apple cider vinegar and stevia in one bowl.

In a large bowl, mix the broccoli, cranberries and sunflower seeds.

Stir the mayo mix into the broccoli mix, coating it all well.

I don’t recommend eating it right away. The flavors need to sit and hang out together for awhile before it will knock your socks off.

I let mine sit over night and then packed it in small tupperware containers to take for work! Yum!

THIS WEEK’S MENU:
Monday: Salmon with asparagus
Tuesday: Jerk chicken thighs with Parmesan roasted zucchini
Wednesday: Bourbon Burgers with sweet potatoes
Thursday: Blackened fish tacos

Lunch will be spaghetti squash with meatball bake and low carb wraps!

I’m trying something drastic this week.

By the time we get off of work, drive in terrible traffic, get home, let the dog out, cook etc., I do NOT feel like working out. So I’m going to wake up an hour earlier and do Bob Harper’s 30 minute cardio DVD, shower and go to work. I feel like if I get a hard workout in in the morning, not only will it wake me up through out the day, but I won’t feel bad about not working out at night and walking Bo a little will be enough! So wish me luck!

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I got these bad boys to help motivate me. My 2 year old Nike’s were feeling a little hard and uncomfortable lately. I love both of these. I’m so excited to start using them! Aside from walking from the car to the store. Hehe

Xo

It’s been awhile.

Hey guys! How is everyone?

I’ve been quiet, I know. But I’ve been doing REALLY well!

I’ve been keeping my net carbs under 50 a day and eating around 1,200 to 1,300 calories. Boy, did it pay off!

We leave for South/North Carolina today and I’m 15 POUNDS LIGHTER!

If you have the willpower to cut out some carbs, and only have natural sugars (found in fruit and truvia for coffee) then I highly suggest it!

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I haven’t been blogging much because I SERIOUSLY hurt my back a couple weeks ago. No idea how I did it. But it got really swollen and the doctor put me on muscle relaxers. Which means the last week I was pretty useless. Hence the hot dogs and pickles. Too lazy to cook some nights.

Spaghetti squash, meatballs, mozzarella and basil tomato sauce has been my favorite thing while watching my carbs. We eat it for dinner and lunch often! It tastes soooo naughty. But it’s so very nice.

Every morning, I’ve been making a protein smoothie with spinach that tastes like a peanut butter shake. No joke.

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And we had pies galore at work this week for the partner’s birthdays and instead of having a slice, I just got a good size bite every day and I didn’t feel deprived at all!

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I even had a few days where I ate what I wanted. Like at our friends Chad and Kate’s engagement party! OMG they had fried chicken, Mac and cheese, meatballs and chips. Basically all the stuff I love. And I still didn’t gain!

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And last night we went to a wedding! I was nervous. About the food. And I promised my work mom, Paula, that I wouldn’t eat the cake. Not worth it. And I held up my promise! And luckily, the food was perfect! The most delicious broiled chicken, green beans and I even had a yeast roll. When we left, we were still a little hungry. So we stopped at Rallys. I was dying. Their fries are my jam. But I got a cheese champ. Took one bite. Then threw away the bun and just ate the burger! I woke up this morning and was still down a pound! Oh yeahhhh!

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The gorgeous bride, her husband and I grew up together. It is the coolest thing in the world that they are now married. She has been my friend since I was about 2 years old. They came out to “I’m so fancy” which is my jam. And she walked down the isle to Guns and Roses. Best wedding ever!

Off to pack for our trip! Will update with beach pictures! ๐Ÿ™‚

Oh, and here’s Bo and my friend Meg’s dog Todd. Being adorable.

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Xo

I’ve been eating… And losing… And eating.

I feel AMAZING!

I’ve lost 6 pounds since Sunday and I haven’t felt deprived at all! I even ate A LOT of tortilla chips and queso blanco two nights ago. It’s all about balance, right?!

I’ve been keeping my carbs under 70 grams a day and REALLY watching my sugar and my god, what a difference it has made.

I think my protein smoothie every morning has something to do with it too!

You know when you get in that mindset? And nothing will stop you? That’s how I feel right now! Won’t let it fade!

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Here’s what I’ve been eating for dinner and lunches in no particular order! I’ll be back with the recipe for the delicious frittata!

I did Zumba at home and walked Monday night. Tuesday nothing. And last night I made Mike do Taebo! It was fun/funny! ๐Ÿ™‚

SPOILER ALERT for tomorrow’s weigh in: I’m already down 6 pounds this week!!! So yeahhhhh. I’m very excited for this weigh in!

You can do it you guys! Thanks for hanging in there with me! Love you all!

Oh, and here’s a picture of Bo for Cassy and because I know you all love him! ๐Ÿ™‚

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Xo