Let me explain.

I think you deserve all of me. I truly do. I understand blogging your weight loss journey is supposed to be about honesty and candidness.

 

I’m doing the best I can, for now.

 

I truly only started this blog as a way for my close friends and family to show their support via browsing. Do you know that feeling that you have when you’re insanely passionate about something? Something you know works and you just need this person to understand how much they would love it if they just tried? (My mind goes to explaining the AppleTV and/or iPhone to my mom for the first time.) I feel that excitement when I write here. I feel like the fact that I ate fatty quiche and Mexican food and still lost weight is the biggest. deal. ever. And I just HAVE to share that with you. For the last 10 years of my life, it was all or nothing. 2 bacon egg and cheese biscuits for breakfast or water. A quesadilla and full order of chips and queso all to myself for lunch or a juice. The chicken tender and fried shrimp combo with fries but wait, don’t forget my side salad with ranch and a croissant for dinner or carrot sticks. I either wanted to starve myself, or die of fatness. I couldn’t fathom a life where I could eat normal. And be healthy.

 

I have a long way to go in my weight loss. But, the fact that I can say I’ve found that sweet spot. The normal spot. The one that isn’t starving or “throw up” full on food, that is just very comfortable…it’s kind of my miracle. And I guess what I’m saying is, regardless of how terribly cliché it is to say this, if I found mine, I KNOW you can find yours. I’ve read blogs. “Trust me, if I can lose XXX amount of weight, so can you.” I used to think, bitch, you don’t know me! CLEARLY she can’t put away Taco Bell like me. But it’s all about finding your own groove. At your own time. Setting your own pace.

 

As time goes, I will be more forthcoming about my weight loss goals, weigh ins, progress photos, etc. I’m learning how to open up. I’m not all the way there yet. For me, while I’m extremely happy with the progress and how I feel, I can’t help but feel that this process is really “ugly.” Call it vanity, call it what you will, this is just me being honest. I used to watch The Biggest Loser with my mom.  I used to watch them sweat and struggle and weigh in with their spandex shorts, and I couldn’t help but feel sorry for them. That all of their personal struggles were being aired on T.V. I understand they chose that. And I admire those people more than I can explain. That is just not me. I’ve opened myself up before and regretted it greatly. When I get to a place where I am ready to share, trust me. This will be where I do it. And I hope you’re there for it!

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4 thoughts on “Let me explain.

  1. It s so great to see tat you are FINALLY doing it your way, at your pace, the way you are comfortable doing it1. It’s the only way it works!! Xoxo.

  2. I love this post. I can completely relate with you on the extreme ways of dieting. It has always been all or nothing for me as well. Stuffing my face & finishing off with dressert every night before bed, or doing a month long cleanse. All or nothig! I am also learning to not be so extreme. Enjoy food, yet also include healthy foods. I just beat myself up for eating bad foods all the time. & when I want to lose weight, I want to lose it in 2 months.

    I’ve even keeping up with your blog! Keep writing & sharing your successes & setbacks! It helps more than you know.

    • I love you for this! I know we’re so similar and I know there’s so many people like us, I’m just lucky to have you. After two weeks of just pure balancing, I think I’ve got it down now. I know you and I can do this and finally be free of the worry and guilt. You’re the best!

  3. Can totally relate to all or nothing too. I think a lot of women can. We see those advertisements that are like,”Lose XX weights in 7 days (or something equally as achievable, realistically)” and when that doesn’t happen, or it’s too hard .. because honestly, anything like that is completely unsustainable, we jump off the band wagon and binge eat.
    Or perhaps that just me …

    Anyway, lovin’ your blog! It’s refreshing to see someone eat a healthier version of what they want, or what they are craving .. Instead of the extreme ends. Look forward to seeing more of your posts!

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